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Forum Home > Advice, Tips & Ideas > When should I tell him I have an illness?

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     A young lady asked me to get other lupie opinions regarding the right time to tell a new love interest about your chronic illness. Well, everyone who responded pretty much said the same thing in some way or another. The overwhelming response was "when you feel comfortable". This is also my advice. If you feel comfortable telling them on the first date then go for it, but if not just hold off until you do. I also think that it is better to let them know as soon as possible. One of the respondents also mentioned that you can weed out a certain type of guy (or girl) by being upfront in the beginning. Some people will run as fast as they can. Well, if they do then it is good that you got rid of them early, because you will eventually need his help and he probably won't give you the support that you need.

     I understand if you feel apprehensive about letting people in too early. It is natural, but you may eventually become more comfortable with sharing your situation with people, even someone that you just began courting. No one can tell you when YOU should share your health condition, only you can determine that. If it takes too long for you to feel comfortable with a certain person then they are probably not the right person for you.

     I personally feel relieved when I share my condition, I feel a load off of my shoulders. I can also tell a great deal about a person and/or how they feel about me by their reaction. Having a chronic illness is a sort of blessing when it comes to relationships, because you really find out who really loves and will do anything for you right from the start.


December 1, 2010 at 9:22 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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